Broke or Not Broke..That is the Question

You get that phone call in the middle of night, when your spouse is out of town, and you know the minute you say hello something isn't right.  The ton, background noise or just that "feeling" inside tells you something isn't right.

My husband, Chris, was a professional bull-rider for over 15 years.  He has broken over 20 bones in his body and had a few concussions.  Everyone always asks me how could I stand it? How could I let him?  Well first off he had been riding over 6 years when we met, I couldn't very well tell him to stop.  I was young and it was "exciting" to date a bull-rider.  Second I stood it because it was part of his life and I gave him up to God each and every ride to keep him safe.  I knew there would harm, not a question of if he gets hurt but a question of when and how bad.

Chris retired from bull-riding about 15 years ago.  He went out on top, winning a local rodeo here in Michigan.  I remember clearly a phone call I got one night.  Usually I would attend each and every rodeo but with the girls and the cost it was cheaper to have him jump in the truck with a group of guys.  I remember the night so clearly.  I put the girls to bed, picked up around the house and I went to bed.  Knowing that I'd get a call later in the night from Chris telling me how he did.  So I didn't jump when the phone rang.  I said hello and this is what I heard on the other, mind you the caller DID NOT give me time to talk;  "Chris had an accident, he got bucked off his bull and hit the ground hard and passed out, they took care of him in the arena and put him in the ambulance and we are here at the hospital and they think he broke his collar-bone but he still not awake and we don't any more than that" (breath).  I said okay do I need to get down there?  (They were in Ohio).  Caller: "No I don't think so but we will keep you posted we are going to find out more and we will call you back" CLICK.  UGH  Well I knew, just knew, that he was going to be okay so I didn't really get to upset.  A little later another phone call; "Chris is awake, yep his collar bone is broken, they put a figure 8 on him and he is juiced up on pain medicine, we will be leaving soon and bringing him home, do you want to talk to him?"  That was a funny conversation, he apologized, sounded so "out of it" and I told him I loved him and would see him later.

Today we laugh about the entire incident and the phone calls.  Well this past Friday night I got a phone call, from Chris, at 12:30am.  It went something like this "Hello",  Hi honey it's me (really)..."Hi how are you?"  "Well I'm okay" (ding ding the light bulb goes off and I'm wide awake)..."I kind of had an accident and I think I re-broke my collar-bone." (dead silence) "Okay, well what happened?"  The horse he was riding decided half-way down the arena to start bucking.  Chris is a great rider but this caught him off guard and the ground caught him, just right on his bad shoulder.  I don't call that a kind-of accident I call it an accident.

Once again I am not there. I didn't see it happen.  I did, however, get to see photos from the first time he broke his collar bone.  I saw him laying in the arena w/EMS around him and cowboys kneeling to pray.  I did cry then as I've never seen him passed out.   But with age comes wisdom...so instead of checking out his hotel room Saturday he stayed another night...he was smart enough to know he needed more "rest" before heading home.  Today, Monday, he went to the doctor.  Another one of those moments...I didn't even have to push or suggest it to him...with age comes wisdom.  So they are saying it is not broke just badly bruised and a possibly a torn muscle.

Broke or Not Broke...that may be question but what is the answer?  Will the x-ray show different once it drys and a tech reads it?  Will the swelling go down soon?  Will he be able to judge the College Nat'l. Finals next week?  Guess time will tell. 

Broke or Not Broke I still wish I was there with him.  To help him, even though he would say he doesn't need help.  To hold his hand, the good one.  To just be there and be close..I think that is the hardest part of being apart...it is not the lack of sex, the lack of talking and seeing, it is knowing there is nothing you can do for your spouse when they are hurt or are sick.  The only think I can do is pray and let him know I love him.

I love you Chris..you ARE MY hero!!!