When did parents STOP being parents?

Yesterday I watched the news in awe about the missing 16 year old girl, Abby.  She is sailing around the world alone, at the age of 16.  Her parents are defending "her" decision and theirs.  Are they totally nuts is all I can think.  I have had a lot on my shoulders with my husband living and working in Oklahoma..sometimes I feel I am raising our youngest alone.  Sometimes it would SO MUCH easier to JUST SAY YES.  But I know I can't...I don't want to look back years form now and say "....wow if only I had been stronger and not given in to her."  I am HERE to guide her..I am her friend but I am her MOTHER!!

My youngest daughter is 16 and I would never dream of letting her sail alone or do anything else even somewhat similar to that w/o ADULT SUPERVISION!   Although Cassie is mature and soon to be 17 she would in no way be ready to anything like that, even if she did have the skills required.

At that age their brains are not ready to handle ALL that alone time.  The trauma that will come with being out there on the open seas alone, fighting the waves, the boredom, the terror that you KNOW will come.

I watch these reality shows on TV.  Real World, Road Rules, Jersey Shore and all those...what have we done to our children with these shows?  We've shown them that sleeping around, swearing, drinking and pretty much doing anything you can to get on TV is the way to go.  Can you really, honestly, blame them?

I can't blame the teens for alot of what they do these days.  Both parents work, parents are divorced, parents just "give in" due to threats; ...."If you don't let me (go out, see him/her etc.) I'll run away".."If....I'll kill myself.." the list of threats go on and on.  Why?  Because we as parents let them.

Both of my girls, at one time in their lives, threatened to run away when they were not allowed to do something.  So we grabbed a bag and handed it to them and I said go ahead I'll help you pack and walked away.  The look on their faces was classic.  There was NO discussion!   Or the time they threatened to call the police on us if we spanked them....so we handed them the phone!  Of the time my one daughter told me she was a "cutter".  Why?  Because her friend did it to get attention from her parents.  That is so sad and I felt so bad for her friend...I do blame the parents for that.  But I told my child..no way it won't work with us.  Of course as parents my husband and I had a discussion and we did sit afterwards and talk with our daughter to get to the root of the problem.

So, again, I ask when did we stop being parents and start being friends.  When did we stop saying OKAY to everything our CHILDREN want?  Do we not see the harm we are doing?  Our children are growing into a ME generation.  It is all about ME.   I hear, all to often, "well I have to let them express themselves"!  Yes I let my children express themselves but I do NOT let them express themselves in harmful ways, or in adult ways.  I think some parents are taking the easy way out and just saying YES way too much...and that is sad.

If my child wanted to sail around the world, alone, I as a loving, caring parent could not have let it happen.  Because my brain can understand ALL that COULD happen...she would only see what MY happen with the out-come being "I'll be famous, I'll be on TV..."

So to my girls; I want to be your friend but more than anything I want to be your mom.  I want to honor you as your parent because God gave me YOU.  He gave you to me to keep you safe, to teach you right from wrong, to let you learn and grow but to NOT let you make decisions that could harm yourself or others!  To not let you, hopefully, choose a path filled with immoral wrongs.  I'm not perfect, I know that.  But just like my mother said when I was your age..."trust me I've been there I know what is best for you" and she really did.  Thanks MOM!!