I am trying, ever so hard, to stay positive. Thank goodness for my medicine and thank goodness for God. I have noticed, as of late, that Chris is not so positive. How the hell can anyone blame him, I sure can't. We are still struggling to make all the bills with only 1 income and we are behind on the mortgage. So all of that is weighing on him. We still have the house up for sale, we've had showings but no offers as of yet. He is STILL living in our RV and that is "okay", he really doesn't mind that. But what really sucks is that their office moved, just down the street to a smaller building BUT that owner won't let him keep the RV there. "If I let you then I have to let others'." As if anyone else around there is living in their RV..they all have homes to go home to..you know the ones with real walls, nice bathrooms, big kitchens etc. So along with moving the shop, keeping sales up and keeping income coming in he know has to find a place by the 10th to keep the RV and live and that won't cost. HA good-luck with that. The RV parks want $325 and up a month. We just can't swing another bill. If business was doing good then he could justify a "raise" to cover that expense. But business has leveled out, on the low side of level. Just like any other business. So he gets down and I can't blame him. He has the world on his shoulder's, all men do in times like this. At least those men that are "real men". Any man put in the position of being unemployed, digging out or whatever will put the weight of the world on their shoulders because that is how they are wired. They ARE the providers for their family no matter what any women's movement might say.
Yet we can not complain..at least he has a job and we are not living with family and we've not "lost" everything. Credit cards, as bad as they are, are helpful in times like this. So he has bad days and that is okay and I am learning to not take them personally. He is a great guy, the best, and he wants so much for his family.
So how on earth does one stay positive? Personally I've been, on the inside, so sad. But each day I look at the glass plaque above my kitchen sink "God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change COURAGE to change the things I can, and WISDOM to know the difference." I have to believe those words and live by those word and just KNOW things will change and things WILL get better for us. This is just a trial and test and if, no when, we get thru this, things will be better. For ourselves, for each other, for our girls. The tears I shed will one day be memories of the past.
So it has been 7 months, it will, more than likely, be a few more months. An offer on the house would be great! Being able to find a rental down there to live in until this house sells would be great. But neither opportunity has presented itself, YET!!
2 comments:
Hey Donna,
I've been reading your blog, I'm sorry to hear about what you guys are going through. Life is certainly challenging for a lot of people right now. I know that we aren't in exactly the same boat as you guys because Jeff isn't working long distance but we've had our struggles as well lately. Last year, Jeff's boss started cutting out bonuses that were owed to him then he took away our health insurance that covered Jeff AND the kids, then he cut Jeff's pay by 20%. Early on we could see where things might be going so we tried to stay ahead of the game and put the house up for a short sale. Which turned out to be a very good decision because up until 3 days ago, Jeff was out of work for over 2 months. He just got an offer with a company in Auburn Hills. It's hard because we still have 3 young kids and need to worry about them and the best way to handle things. It's so hard going through these things and not knowing where you will come out in the end. But, I wanted to tell you that it does and will get better. We just closed on our house yesterday. Right now, until we figure out where life is going to take us, all five of us are living with my in-laws. It certainly isn't an ideal situation but we sure are lucky to have such great families that are willing to set things aside to help us out. Now that the house has been closed on and Jeff has a new job starting up soon, hopefully we can start moving things forward again. I hated doing the sell short and getting out of the house and neighborhood that we love but it was something we had to do. Our house sold for 41% less than we bought it for just 6 years ago....ugh!
The kids are taking things in stride and we will get through this, I just keep telling myself that it's just a bump in the road. Although a big bump on a very long journey.:-)
Just wanted to share our story with you and let you know that even though we don't share the same struggle, we understand how hard it is to be going through hard times right now.
I hope your house sells quickly and you all get back together very soon!
Maureen
Thanks Maureen. I am so thrilled that some things are working out for you. We wanted to short sale our home too but with the chance of the banks coming after us later for the difference we don't want to chance it. Right now we have (had) it listed for $10,000 less than what we bought it for 13 years ago...$65,000 less than 5 year old appraisal. I am so glad that we found a great couple to do a lease/purchase. Ideally I would like to sell it but I don't want to rush into another home just because we sold this one and it not be the right one. So this will give us a chance to save up, have a rental property to right off and look for that right place. Keep in touch and you guys are welcome to come visit us in Oklahoma.
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