Last night I sat on the deck outside, alone, drinking. I was feeling VERY sorry myself as I have nothing to do this weekend and my husband and oldest daughter (Chris & Brittany) are in Oklahoma. Cassie, my almost 17 year old daughter, was over at friends. Anyway I was feeling sorry myself since Chris has been gone 7 months, my mom just left to go back home to Florida and the few friends I have are out of town. So I drank a fruity drink and went to bed. This morning I woke up, still feeling crappy for myself. Then as I started to write this it dawned on me...my husband and my oldest daughter may be living in Oklahoma and our family is "seperated" due to work BUT we are all still living.
WOW what an eye opener. There are SO MANY others out there today that will never ever get to see their loved one(s) again due to the wars. I am not against the war, not totally for it, but not against it. I value my freedom here in America and the choices that we still have, unlike other countries. I am VERY grateful for the men and women in the Armed Forces. I am an "Army Brat". My brother-in-law is an Air National Guard Reservist. Brittany almost joined the Army. I have friends that are in the military.
So as I sit here this morning, feeling "sorry" for myself we (Chris, Britt, Cassie and I) will not ALL be together for another "holiday" I must remind myself that I have SO MUCH to NOT feel sorry for. My husband is working, my back is getting better, my oldest daughter is doing great, my youngest daughter is doing great, my mother is alive and happy and I am alive & God is by my side. I am not, today, visiting a grave of a loved one that I lost in a war.
My heart goes out to those families and friends. May you find comfort in knowing that "your" soldier did not die in vain~~they died for you and for me and for all of us and we are VERY GRATEFUL.
May everyone take a few moments to reflect on what today is really about and be grateful for the people in your life.
Well after living apart for over 10 months we are all FINALLY living in the same state! Chris found work in Oklahoma in October 2009. Our oldest daughter, Brittany, moved down to work for Chris & start college in April of this year. As for Cassie & I, well we held down the "fort" in Michigan. The house didn't sell so we finally leased it out..loaded up a 26' U-Haul truck with a 6'x12' trailer behind it..& headed down to Oklahoma! So a new ADVENTURE BEGINS!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sunny Sunday,,Go Back to Sleep? Lead By Example!!
Today is very sunny already for this great Sunday. Once again, and shame on me no excuses, I did not make it to church. I was awake at 7:30 and could have gotten up and got around but I chose to go back to sleep. When I woke up again it was too late..not good. I know God understands and He will forgive me but deep inside I am feeling VERY guilty. I am not doing a good job of leading by example to my family...I will try harder to be better at that..leading by example!!
Which brings me to my subject..leading by example. So many time, each and every day, we see, hear, feel how everyone around us acts. Are they doing a good job "leading by example". For the most part no. While watching these "reality" shows I sit there and laugh and make comments and some of them I'll watch again, some I won't. We wonder why the youth of today act the way they do? Well we need not look much farther than ourselves and the EXAMPLE(s) we lead. We let our children watch these reality shows on TV, while we sometimes sit there with them. We also let our children, speak their minds, because that is what society says we should do. What I hear coming out their mouths today is what we hear coming out of the mouths of those "reality stars". We don't "spank" our children anymore, we give "time-outs" or have discussions with them. For the most part those discussions go in one year and out the other.
Which brings me to an incident that happened at our home. We had family and friends over and we were all out front playing. We happen to be lucky with a deep set front yard so there is plenty of room to play and not go near the street. However one particular little boy (he is now a teen) went near the street. His parents informed him to not go past the sidewalk again..the cars tend to go OVER 25mph on our street. Few minutes later he did it again and again he was told to not go past the sidewalk. The next venture he was just going off the curb into the street. At that point the dad pulled him aside and set him on the porch for a "time-out" and a discussion. Now I must state at the time he was about 4-5 years old. Time-out was over in a few minutes and again a few minutes later he was off the curb. Again a discussion started..at that point I informed the child if he did it again he would be getting a spanking from ME as I did not want to see him get hit and hurt by a car. Did I overstep my "boundaries"? To some people yes I did but to others I did not because I showed that child that I cared enough, even though they did not understand at the time. The child did not go past the curb again.
Where am I going with this example: I was leading by example. I pointed out that I did not go past the sidewalk, that the cars would hit him if he went out in the street and he would get hurt and lastly because I cared enough if he could not listen I would give him a spanking. I did it with my kids and one good spank they stayed out of the street. I not saying to beat your kids...but a good spanking is teaching them boundaries, grounding them as they get older, gives them boundaries. You can have a discussion when your children get older because by that time they will grasp what you are truly saying!! We have stepped away from TELLING our children what is right and wrong we are letting THEM make decisions too early and that is my opinion!!
But thru the years I see that I've gotten away from leading by example. I sleep in, when I should be up, I allow my teens to watch programs I really don't approve of, I swear and complain and more. And I am seeing what I do and have done come out in them.
Today I vow that I am going to do better leading by example..getting back to the examples that I lead with when they were younger. We can't go back, we can only go forward. We can't forget but we can forgive and understand the errors our children have made..we can and should LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Even if it means just starting one little example..maybe turn off the TV and play a game. God is like that with us, he forgives and goes forward with us knowing that we can and will do better. He continues to always LEAD BY EXAMPLE because He gave us the Bible AND He is also that little voice in our heads that is telling us "hey maybe you need not do that "!!!
Have a great day and find your EXAMPLE to lead by.
Which brings me to my subject..leading by example. So many time, each and every day, we see, hear, feel how everyone around us acts. Are they doing a good job "leading by example". For the most part no. While watching these "reality" shows I sit there and laugh and make comments and some of them I'll watch again, some I won't. We wonder why the youth of today act the way they do? Well we need not look much farther than ourselves and the EXAMPLE(s) we lead. We let our children watch these reality shows on TV, while we sometimes sit there with them. We also let our children, speak their minds, because that is what society says we should do. What I hear coming out their mouths today is what we hear coming out of the mouths of those "reality stars". We don't "spank" our children anymore, we give "time-outs" or have discussions with them. For the most part those discussions go in one year and out the other.
Which brings me to an incident that happened at our home. We had family and friends over and we were all out front playing. We happen to be lucky with a deep set front yard so there is plenty of room to play and not go near the street. However one particular little boy (he is now a teen) went near the street. His parents informed him to not go past the sidewalk again..the cars tend to go OVER 25mph on our street. Few minutes later he did it again and again he was told to not go past the sidewalk. The next venture he was just going off the curb into the street. At that point the dad pulled him aside and set him on the porch for a "time-out" and a discussion. Now I must state at the time he was about 4-5 years old. Time-out was over in a few minutes and again a few minutes later he was off the curb. Again a discussion started..at that point I informed the child if he did it again he would be getting a spanking from ME as I did not want to see him get hit and hurt by a car. Did I overstep my "boundaries"? To some people yes I did but to others I did not because I showed that child that I cared enough, even though they did not understand at the time. The child did not go past the curb again.
Where am I going with this example: I was leading by example. I pointed out that I did not go past the sidewalk, that the cars would hit him if he went out in the street and he would get hurt and lastly because I cared enough if he could not listen I would give him a spanking. I did it with my kids and one good spank they stayed out of the street. I not saying to beat your kids...but a good spanking is teaching them boundaries, grounding them as they get older, gives them boundaries. You can have a discussion when your children get older because by that time they will grasp what you are truly saying!! We have stepped away from TELLING our children what is right and wrong we are letting THEM make decisions too early and that is my opinion!!
But thru the years I see that I've gotten away from leading by example. I sleep in, when I should be up, I allow my teens to watch programs I really don't approve of, I swear and complain and more. And I am seeing what I do and have done come out in them.
Today I vow that I am going to do better leading by example..getting back to the examples that I lead with when they were younger. We can't go back, we can only go forward. We can't forget but we can forgive and understand the errors our children have made..we can and should LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Even if it means just starting one little example..maybe turn off the TV and play a game. God is like that with us, he forgives and goes forward with us knowing that we can and will do better. He continues to always LEAD BY EXAMPLE because He gave us the Bible AND He is also that little voice in our heads that is telling us "hey maybe you need not do that "!!!
Have a great day and find your EXAMPLE to lead by.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Thursday -- Garbage Day
Up early today..YEAH! Trying hard to get to bed at a descent time and get up at a "normal" time. But what is normal LOL? Normal for me and normal for you are probably 2 totally different things!!
Today is 'garbage day' and that is what brought me to the title and subject for this Thursday.
As I see everyones' garbage by the curb, and mine too, I wonder what is being "thrown" away? Why do some people recycle and others don't? Kind of like our lives. What do we "toss" and what do we "recylce". Do we tend to trash things we really should keep? Do we just give up and sometimes trash our support system or "trash" our faith? Should we maybe be tossing out more or tossing out less? Should we be learning how to "recycle" better?
Are you guilty of holding onto your "trash" in your life and you just keep adding to that bag? I know I can be like that..I let certain things stay with me that I should not. I am trying really really hard to constantly let those things that really are not important and those things that tend to trash up my life go. What is really funny is that while I am writing this the TV is on and Dalai Lama just arrived on the TODAY SHOW for his first live interview. How ironic is that?!?! He is a person who's entire belief system is one of relaxation, forgivness, happiness and living stress free. He just said that many of todays' problems are "man-made" and yes I do agree with that for many things. I'm not one to say I am educated on his beliefs but what a calm person he is and one that shares with everyone how we really should live. Very ironic!!!
So even though my life is not going the way I want it to go, or how my entire family would like it go, I can not hold onto the trash that can cloud it. When I do let my "trash bag" get full than my entire attitude changes. My goal is to keep my "trash bag" low or almost empty..I don't think it will ever be empty. But by keeping it low I know that my entire attitude will change for the best and I will feel better about the situation my family is in.
The situation sucks it truly does. HOWEVER I have to remember that there is and will always be someone out there in a worse situation we are in. My husband is working, thank God. It is not the income we used to have but we are grateful and if we get behind on bills, which we are, it will end up okay. We've not lost anything and we won't. He is the man of the family and takes that role seriously and has never ever sat back and said "I can't"...he always finds a way to provide for us. He does not let the garbage pile up in his bag..he keeps putting it by the curb and goes forward.
I thank God each day for positive things in our life and positive people. I thank God each day for my family and for the gifts we've recieved and the opportunities He has put in our paths. So today I vow I will not let my garbage get full anymore, I will let any trash that comes into my life get tossed out and I will recycle those things that need to be recylced that will help me become a better woman, wife, mother and daughter.
Have a good day and take your trash out!!
Today is 'garbage day' and that is what brought me to the title and subject for this Thursday.
As I see everyones' garbage by the curb, and mine too, I wonder what is being "thrown" away? Why do some people recycle and others don't? Kind of like our lives. What do we "toss" and what do we "recylce". Do we tend to trash things we really should keep? Do we just give up and sometimes trash our support system or "trash" our faith? Should we maybe be tossing out more or tossing out less? Should we be learning how to "recycle" better?
Are you guilty of holding onto your "trash" in your life and you just keep adding to that bag? I know I can be like that..I let certain things stay with me that I should not. I am trying really really hard to constantly let those things that really are not important and those things that tend to trash up my life go. What is really funny is that while I am writing this the TV is on and Dalai Lama just arrived on the TODAY SHOW for his first live interview. How ironic is that?!?! He is a person who's entire belief system is one of relaxation, forgivness, happiness and living stress free. He just said that many of todays' problems are "man-made" and yes I do agree with that for many things. I'm not one to say I am educated on his beliefs but what a calm person he is and one that shares with everyone how we really should live. Very ironic!!!
So even though my life is not going the way I want it to go, or how my entire family would like it go, I can not hold onto the trash that can cloud it. When I do let my "trash bag" get full than my entire attitude changes. My goal is to keep my "trash bag" low or almost empty..I don't think it will ever be empty. But by keeping it low I know that my entire attitude will change for the best and I will feel better about the situation my family is in.
The situation sucks it truly does. HOWEVER I have to remember that there is and will always be someone out there in a worse situation we are in. My husband is working, thank God. It is not the income we used to have but we are grateful and if we get behind on bills, which we are, it will end up okay. We've not lost anything and we won't. He is the man of the family and takes that role seriously and has never ever sat back and said "I can't"...he always finds a way to provide for us. He does not let the garbage pile up in his bag..he keeps putting it by the curb and goes forward.
I thank God each day for positive things in our life and positive people. I thank God each day for my family and for the gifts we've recieved and the opportunities He has put in our paths. So today I vow I will not let my garbage get full anymore, I will let any trash that comes into my life get tossed out and I will recycle those things that need to be recylced that will help me become a better woman, wife, mother and daughter.
Have a good day and take your trash out!!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wednesday AKA "Hump Day"...Shame on me?
So it is Wednesday and SUNNY & WARM (well soon to be warm) out. Off at 11am to pick up my mom at the airport for her 10 day stay!!
Since I talked about "sex" on Monday I can't very well talk about it again on "hump day". Although a friend from high school pointed out I should have waited to talk about it today LOL. That was a good one!
Got up early, sloppy joes are almost done for lunch today. Think tonight we will have grilled chicken and enjoy this great weather with my mom on the deck.
I went out to dinner last night with my wonderful sister-in-law Tracie. We always have such a nice time together when we go out to dinner. We can talk about everything and anything and I love that about her. She knows exactly how I feel being apart from Chris for so long since Rich, her husband, is in the military and has been over-seas. And of course they had to deal with basic training and his continued training after basics. At that time I was not very supportive of her because I had no idea what it was like to be seperated from the one you love for such a long time. Shame on me for not taking a more pro-active step and being there for her and just assuming she was fine! Shame on me for not listening to her and listening to what others were saying about the "situation".
Isn't it funny I started writing about something totally different..didn't even have a title past "hump day"..but then I found myself writing more..something I feel so much more important.
Back to "shame on me"...yes I should have done more for her, I should have called her more, offered to do things with her etc. But we can't go back and change the past we can ONLY LEARN from our PAST mistakes. So that is why I am trying to learn to reach out to those people that are in the same situation I am in, being apart from their spouse/sig. other for such a long time. I've not found anyone yet, at least not anyone that is willing to say HEY I AM IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU. But if you are please let me know...And if you are someone that knows someone don't become a SHAME ON ME or a I SHOULD HAVE...reach out to that person...you don't know how much of an impact you will have on that person. Even just a quick visit during the day to sit and chat. It does not have to be anything huge..a cup of coffee and a fun chat. A quick run to the farmers' market..anything.
I vow to NEVER again be a SHAME ON ME and think that the other person is doing fine..why do they need my company.
Enjoy your day and thanks for reading..I hope this touches your life and others. Hugs, Donna
Since I talked about "sex" on Monday I can't very well talk about it again on "hump day". Although a friend from high school pointed out I should have waited to talk about it today LOL. That was a good one!
Got up early, sloppy joes are almost done for lunch today. Think tonight we will have grilled chicken and enjoy this great weather with my mom on the deck.
I went out to dinner last night with my wonderful sister-in-law Tracie. We always have such a nice time together when we go out to dinner. We can talk about everything and anything and I love that about her. She knows exactly how I feel being apart from Chris for so long since Rich, her husband, is in the military and has been over-seas. And of course they had to deal with basic training and his continued training after basics. At that time I was not very supportive of her because I had no idea what it was like to be seperated from the one you love for such a long time. Shame on me for not taking a more pro-active step and being there for her and just assuming she was fine! Shame on me for not listening to her and listening to what others were saying about the "situation".
Isn't it funny I started writing about something totally different..didn't even have a title past "hump day"..but then I found myself writing more..something I feel so much more important.
Back to "shame on me"...yes I should have done more for her, I should have called her more, offered to do things with her etc. But we can't go back and change the past we can ONLY LEARN from our PAST mistakes. So that is why I am trying to learn to reach out to those people that are in the same situation I am in, being apart from their spouse/sig. other for such a long time. I've not found anyone yet, at least not anyone that is willing to say HEY I AM IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU. But if you are please let me know...And if you are someone that knows someone don't become a SHAME ON ME or a I SHOULD HAVE...reach out to that person...you don't know how much of an impact you will have on that person. Even just a quick visit during the day to sit and chat. It does not have to be anything huge..a cup of coffee and a fun chat. A quick run to the farmers' market..anything.
I vow to NEVER again be a SHAME ON ME and think that the other person is doing fine..why do they need my company.
Enjoy your day and thanks for reading..I hope this touches your life and others. Hugs, Donna
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday...Rain (again) BUT BUILD MEMORIES!!!
Welcome to spring in Michigan..unpredictable weather. 53 and rain/wind today but 79 and sunny by Thursday. Went out with friends last night, Julie and Mark. It's hard, isn't it, when you get invited to go out with friends and you are the "single" one in the group. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed myself, but again it is so hard to be sitting there w/o Chris. I know he feels the same way but hey he is not blogging about it I am!! LOL
Tomorrow my mom arrives from Florida. Her fiance surprised her on mothers' day with a ticket to come up and visit us for 10 days. He is a great man..it has only taken her almost her whole life to find a man that appreciates her and loves her as a women should be loved! But she is totally enjoying herself and her health is so much better. It should be...they are constantly out doing things and they go dancing so much..she has always loved to dance but my dad didn't like it. She sure is making up for all those "lost"years. She is 76 years old and looks like and acts like she is in her early 60's. Good for her!!
I am so happy that my girls have a great relationship with her and look forward to spending time with her! I never had that closeness with my grandparents, either side of the family. Both my girls will randomly just talk about things they've done with her..trips we've taken, food we've eaten together, things MeMe does with them. It is great.
I heard someone say in a seminar that I attended that our kids will not remember all the toys and "stuff" we buy them but they WILL remember the times we spend together and the trips we take together. I thought, at the time, yeah right. Both girls were very young at the time. But now that they are in their teen years that statement is so true. Every once in a while they will talk about somewhere we've been, something we've done and inside my heart just glows and outside I smile. What a great feeling.
So I guess what I am saying that even though our family is living apart during this trying time we are still building memories with our girls and each other. The time we've spent together during our visits, traveling down to Oklahoma, things we are doing up here. Even sitting out on the deck and talking. Even though your family may be split like ours is during this trying time don't forget to STILL BUILD memories. Don't sit each day and feel poor me this sucks. Yeah it might suck but don't get caught up in it. Keep enjoying each day, remember it is the little things that count. So sit on that porch and talk..your building memories.
Tomorrow my mom arrives from Florida. Her fiance surprised her on mothers' day with a ticket to come up and visit us for 10 days. He is a great man..it has only taken her almost her whole life to find a man that appreciates her and loves her as a women should be loved! But she is totally enjoying herself and her health is so much better. It should be...they are constantly out doing things and they go dancing so much..she has always loved to dance but my dad didn't like it. She sure is making up for all those "lost"years. She is 76 years old and looks like and acts like she is in her early 60's. Good for her!!
I am so happy that my girls have a great relationship with her and look forward to spending time with her! I never had that closeness with my grandparents, either side of the family. Both my girls will randomly just talk about things they've done with her..trips we've taken, food we've eaten together, things MeMe does with them. It is great.
I heard someone say in a seminar that I attended that our kids will not remember all the toys and "stuff" we buy them but they WILL remember the times we spend together and the trips we take together. I thought, at the time, yeah right. Both girls were very young at the time. But now that they are in their teen years that statement is so true. Every once in a while they will talk about somewhere we've been, something we've done and inside my heart just glows and outside I smile. What a great feeling.
So I guess what I am saying that even though our family is living apart during this trying time we are still building memories with our girls and each other. The time we've spent together during our visits, traveling down to Oklahoma, things we are doing up here. Even sitting out on the deck and talking. Even though your family may be split like ours is during this trying time don't forget to STILL BUILD memories. Don't sit each day and feel poor me this sucks. Yeah it might suck but don't get caught up in it. Keep enjoying each day, remember it is the little things that count. So sit on that porch and talk..your building memories.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday--Monday Let's Talk About Sex!!
Monday, May 17th...windy, cloudy and cool. Is it really May? It is going to be in the high 70's later in the week. My mom arrives from Florida on the 19th for a 10 day visit. Yeah.
Well today I want to talk about something that I am SURE many of you out there, that have not seen your spouse/sig. other in a while, are thinking about...SEX!! Yep I went there..I sure did.
What brought me to this subject you may wonder...I must be honest Johnny Depp & Mark Wahlberg! I know you are laughing. Seriously though..when you are apart from the one you love, sometimes for even a few days, you start to miss the little things. After watching a few movies over the weekend with Johnny D. and Mark W. I realized that while I was seeing the guys w/o their shirts on, or kissing another person, or even just giving the actress that "look" (you know the one) that I realized how much I am missing that closeness. Not even the SEX but the closeness. The look your special someone gives you that makes your heart, even after 20+ years, skip a beat. Or that touch, the one when they reach out and maybe grab your hand, or as they walk by just brush your skin. Or the smell, yes the smell, of the one you love. It rips your heart right out of your chest when you see others feeling those feelings you are so missing.
It is hard, very hard, for others to totally understand the depth of our feelings~~unless they to are in the same position we are or have "been there". I know for men it is probably different on some level, but come on guys you know deep inside you get "those feelings" when you are apart from your special girl.
Some would say to those of us missing that feeling to get over it (ha) others would say go buy new batteries (ha ha) and then some would say Yuck. Those that say YUCK are those that have not felt what we have felt with our special someone, or are what I like to call the negative ninnies. Stay away from those people.
It is OKAY to have those feelings, it is okay to cry over those feelings. There are times I want to just crawl inside of Chris when I've seen him, so as to keep that feeling of closeness with me when we part again.
So it is Monday, another week ahead and another day of not knowing when we will be together again. Just relying on God and the plans He has in store for us. Just know that when that days come that the house is sold, the new one purchased and the move is complete we WILL NOT be entertaining company for at least a month..the doors will be locked. Have a great day and keep those feelings close to your heart..they are after-all very special.
Well today I want to talk about something that I am SURE many of you out there, that have not seen your spouse/sig. other in a while, are thinking about...SEX!! Yep I went there..I sure did.
What brought me to this subject you may wonder...I must be honest Johnny Depp & Mark Wahlberg! I know you are laughing. Seriously though..when you are apart from the one you love, sometimes for even a few days, you start to miss the little things. After watching a few movies over the weekend with Johnny D. and Mark W. I realized that while I was seeing the guys w/o their shirts on, or kissing another person, or even just giving the actress that "look" (you know the one) that I realized how much I am missing that closeness. Not even the SEX but the closeness. The look your special someone gives you that makes your heart, even after 20+ years, skip a beat. Or that touch, the one when they reach out and maybe grab your hand, or as they walk by just brush your skin. Or the smell, yes the smell, of the one you love. It rips your heart right out of your chest when you see others feeling those feelings you are so missing.
It is hard, very hard, for others to totally understand the depth of our feelings~~unless they to are in the same position we are or have "been there". I know for men it is probably different on some level, but come on guys you know deep inside you get "those feelings" when you are apart from your special girl.
Some would say to those of us missing that feeling to get over it (ha) others would say go buy new batteries (ha ha) and then some would say Yuck. Those that say YUCK are those that have not felt what we have felt with our special someone, or are what I like to call the negative ninnies. Stay away from those people.
It is OKAY to have those feelings, it is okay to cry over those feelings. There are times I want to just crawl inside of Chris when I've seen him, so as to keep that feeling of closeness with me when we part again.
So it is Monday, another week ahead and another day of not knowing when we will be together again. Just relying on God and the plans He has in store for us. Just know that when that days come that the house is sold, the new one purchased and the move is complete we WILL NOT be entertaining company for at least a month..the doors will be locked. Have a great day and keep those feelings close to your heart..they are after-all very special.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Okay...I suck at this but I'm trying...
So it is finally May and I've NOT been very good about blogging. Guess I won't be winning any blogging awards..LOL Looks like "we" are finished with the suit for my back, I go sign papers at the attorneys' office tomorrow. God has been great putting the right people in my path to work this case and get it done so quickly, only 7 months!! I'll be able to get my back fixed soon. Thank goodness, I shall soon be back to normal and able to do all I want to do. It is so hard to sit around and not do what you want to or do what needs to be done, especially since the weather is finally warm. I wanted to put in a garden, even though the house is for sale, and plant alot more flowers. I know that by the time the house sells and we close on it I'll at least have enjoyed a few things from the garden and the new owners can reap the benefits. My cherry tree has a ton of cherries on it. I will miss making cherry pies each year but I look forward to the different trees I can have down in Oklahoma. When I grew up there we had a few peach trees and apple trees on our property. My mother made the best cobblers and pies! We had a huge garden and each year she canned like crazy. Nothing like home-made pies and home-made sauces and vegetables from the garden. I look forward to all of that and more! Today Cassie is driving me over to the discount flower place to get some flowers and such. I'll put some out front to make the porch "inviting" and out back. Flowers will cheer up anyone! Have a great Sunday and remember..today is the day that God has made give thanks and rejoice in it. Hugs, Donna
Friday, May 7, 2010
I am SO Bad....
I am, really, so bad. I've not written in so long, sorry. Well it is May and the flowers are coming up. My lilac tree is in bloom so I've cut some off and put them around the house. I love the smell of lilacs, I think everyone does. The house is still for sale!! We've had about 7 showings but no offers yet..I keep praying. I know God has a plan for us..but lately I am wondering (to myself) if we are supposed to move? I just feel in my heart we are supposed to and God is just waiting for us to find that perfect place down in Oklahoma. As for Chris and I things have been rough. We've been "fighting" per say...it is so hard living apart and not knowing what to say or do when things get tough. Brittany is now living down there in her own apartment and working for Chris at the shop. She seems to be loving it down there...working and she has been able to go to the moto-cross track near-by and practise. She starts school this fall. So Cassie and I are here holding down the "Fort" with Booger, Bootz & Jack!! As for my back, ugh it is still hurting and I am waiting for closure with the suit against the insurance company so I can start something to feel better and help with the pain. I've been considering acupunture and massage therapy. I wonder if Pilates will help? I've heard that it can. So I need to STOP sitting around and give it a try LOL I have a great DVD for it that I've used before.
Well I will try to keep this up-to-date LOL Each day is a new day and I'm thankful for that!
Well I will try to keep this up-to-date LOL Each day is a new day and I'm thankful for that!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Unless You've Been There....
Tuesday, March 30 2009. This morning we will lay to rest Chris' Aunt, Marianne Marcus. Hard to believe she is gone and so quickly. We attended the viewing yesterday, briefly, and she looked very nice. The funeral home did a wonderful job. I have never really noticed the "overwhelming" smell of flowers at a viewing before but I did yesterday..must have been the Easter lillies.
Am hoping today that I have a better feeling than I have the past few days..been kind-a negative and cranky. Could it be due to my 19 year old daughter leaving home? Probably a little. Could it be due to the fact a family member has passed? Probably a little. But I think it is more to the fact that is has been OVER 5 months since Chris left home for work...
UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN THERE..please STOP telling me you know how I feel. PLEASE stop comparing his being gone to that of an enlisted soldier. I know how hard it is to have a loved one gone in the military..I grew up army. But that life-style was chosen..you know when you en-list that there could be the possibity your loved one will be gone for an extended period of time. I know it doesn't make it any easier except for the fact that the one at home still has money for bills, isn't worried about moving and has a support group at the base and can talk with other spouses in regards to being "alone". What do we have? The spouses of "work widows"..those of us that have been thrust into this life-style due to falling economy. I've looked for "support groups" not found one yet. That is why I started this blog..to not only VENT but to hope and pray someone out there in computer land reads this and goes HEY I AM IN THE SAME 'BOAT" let's chat.
I appreciate the "ohh this must be so hard on you" (not really but thanks)...I know this is hard on you (no you really don't know) The most I appreciate is the prayers...but what I really need is HELP. I am a do it yourself kind of person, like my spouse. If it needs to be done we will do it. Well with my herniated disc in my back and the worsening pain from it I am forced to sit on the side-lines and try and get my girls to help. Sometimes it works, more often not. I give up asking.
For instance yesterday I stood in my office on the 2nd floor of our home and looked at the front yard. Looked at all the dead scrub from my mums and other returning flowers..it needs cut back and groomed PLUS it will make the house look better for potential buyers. I mentioned it to the girls a few times..Little things like that that need to be done that I can't do. Yes I could slowly make my out there but heaven forbid that I do go do it and a photo gets snapped of me out there "working". There would go my case against workers comp. - they dropped me saying I can go back to work..my job; merchandising clothing on my feet anywhere from a min. of 4 hours to 8-10hours! Are they nuts!!
Okay I've vented. This too shall pass. I know God has a plan for us, a new road to follow. But UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN THERE please don't tell me you know how I feel. Pray for us, come over and visit, offer to help, bring a bottle of wine and sit on my porch with me. Just don't say it...UYBT!!!
May God bless you and your family and IF YOU ARE THERE PLEASE CHAT BACK!!!
Am hoping today that I have a better feeling than I have the past few days..been kind-a negative and cranky. Could it be due to my 19 year old daughter leaving home? Probably a little. Could it be due to the fact a family member has passed? Probably a little. But I think it is more to the fact that is has been OVER 5 months since Chris left home for work...
UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN THERE..please STOP telling me you know how I feel. PLEASE stop comparing his being gone to that of an enlisted soldier. I know how hard it is to have a loved one gone in the military..I grew up army. But that life-style was chosen..you know when you en-list that there could be the possibity your loved one will be gone for an extended period of time. I know it doesn't make it any easier except for the fact that the one at home still has money for bills, isn't worried about moving and has a support group at the base and can talk with other spouses in regards to being "alone". What do we have? The spouses of "work widows"..those of us that have been thrust into this life-style due to falling economy. I've looked for "support groups" not found one yet. That is why I started this blog..to not only VENT but to hope and pray someone out there in computer land reads this and goes HEY I AM IN THE SAME 'BOAT" let's chat.
I appreciate the "ohh this must be so hard on you" (not really but thanks)...I know this is hard on you (no you really don't know) The most I appreciate is the prayers...but what I really need is HELP. I am a do it yourself kind of person, like my spouse. If it needs to be done we will do it. Well with my herniated disc in my back and the worsening pain from it I am forced to sit on the side-lines and try and get my girls to help. Sometimes it works, more often not. I give up asking.
For instance yesterday I stood in my office on the 2nd floor of our home and looked at the front yard. Looked at all the dead scrub from my mums and other returning flowers..it needs cut back and groomed PLUS it will make the house look better for potential buyers. I mentioned it to the girls a few times..Little things like that that need to be done that I can't do. Yes I could slowly make my out there but heaven forbid that I do go do it and a photo gets snapped of me out there "working". There would go my case against workers comp. - they dropped me saying I can go back to work..my job; merchandising clothing on my feet anywhere from a min. of 4 hours to 8-10hours! Are they nuts!!
Okay I've vented. This too shall pass. I know God has a plan for us, a new road to follow. But UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN THERE please don't tell me you know how I feel. Pray for us, come over and visit, offer to help, bring a bottle of wine and sit on my porch with me. Just don't say it...UYBT!!!
May God bless you and your family and IF YOU ARE THERE PLEASE CHAT BACK!!!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday, Monday
Yep it's Monday and yes the weather-person got it wrong again. Supposed to be warm and sunny today, well if can call the low 50's warm. It is cloudy and very cool. The viewing for Chris' Aunt is today..I will be picking up Cassie right after school and we will go for a little bit. Not long mind you as I am NOT one to MAKE my children sit around a funeral home if they don't want to and trust me she doesn't. There is more than enough family that we won't be missed.
Anyway...being apart is getting harder and harder and more stressful. I vowed that our situation WOULD NOT take a toll on our marriage but I can see that it is. Money stress, house not selling stress, not being together stress, it all adds up. Again, thank you I was diagnosed with my depression and bi-polar last year and I have good medicine that keeps me stable!!! Who have "thunk" I was a productive depresed person and I was "bi-polar". I have found, from listening to people, that bi-polar is the MOST miss-understood mental illness out there. EVERYONE thinks that if you are bi-polar you have these huge erratic highs and then huge lows and you go out on binges when you are in the "high" mode and spend thousands of dollars etc. etc. There are actually many different levels of bi-polar..which I did not know. I'm not at the top of the illness nor am I at the bottom, kind of somewhere in between but with "less" symptoms. I still have a few "iffy" days but not that many.
Well I need to get off the computer and get around. Britt just left to wrap up a few loose ends before we move her to Oklahoma this week. Cassie is in school..I need to get dressed.
Make it a great day no matter the circumstances.
Anyway...being apart is getting harder and harder and more stressful. I vowed that our situation WOULD NOT take a toll on our marriage but I can see that it is. Money stress, house not selling stress, not being together stress, it all adds up. Again, thank you I was diagnosed with my depression and bi-polar last year and I have good medicine that keeps me stable!!! Who have "thunk" I was a productive depresed person and I was "bi-polar". I have found, from listening to people, that bi-polar is the MOST miss-understood mental illness out there. EVERYONE thinks that if you are bi-polar you have these huge erratic highs and then huge lows and you go out on binges when you are in the "high" mode and spend thousands of dollars etc. etc. There are actually many different levels of bi-polar..which I did not know. I'm not at the top of the illness nor am I at the bottom, kind of somewhere in between but with "less" symptoms. I still have a few "iffy" days but not that many.
Well I need to get off the computer and get around. Britt just left to wrap up a few loose ends before we move her to Oklahoma this week. Cassie is in school..I need to get dressed.
Make it a great day no matter the circumstances.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sunny and Cool a New Day Dawns Bright Again
Well after yesterdays' busy day I'm up and about. Today I'm making home-made Corned Beef and Cabbage and having a friend over to enjoy it. We went on St. Pattys' day but the restaurant we went to ran out JUST before we ordered. Ellens' bringing over the beer and I'm cooking. Smells yummy thru-out the house. Britt is feeling better today..still a little bit of a headache lingering. I've spoken to the hubby today after I apologized for getting mad at him last night. You see there is a family funeral for his Aunt this coming Tuesday. His mother REALLY wants him to come back to Michigan for it. When his Aunt passed we immediately looked at air fare and realized we could not afford $500 to get him home. His mom offered to pay half and he said we could not afford it still then she said what if I pay full and he said no. By the way, Chris is NOT big on attending funerals, I don't know who is, except maybe for his family. He likes to remember the person as they were alive and I can't blame him. Anyway last night I called his mom to get the times for the viewing and funeral and she tossed me a curve ball. So has Chris found someone to cover for him and get the time off to come home? I was a tad flusstered(sp) as we had not spoken of this..I said I had no idea and we could still not afford it and she said "we have the money". So I called Chris and told him we needed to be on the same page...well my bad I should have approached it different. It went down hill from there. I am sure I am NOT the only person that approaches their spouse wrong!! We ended, well I did, ended up yelling and bitching about having to do it all alone up here. I know he has it hard down there being apart from us..BUT I have attended EVERY family function w/o him since June of 2009 and it is HIS family. My family is in Florida and my mom came up here for Christmas.
I guess I need to kind of clarify "his family. Chris has 3 brothers; Ed (Chris) Rob then Rich. Each brother is married and they, like us, have children. Chris' parents, Pat and Don, are divorced..but they should still be married. Don was an only child and his parents are deceased as are Pats' parents BUT she has SEVERAL brothers and sisters. As the boys grew and got married an had kids they were still expected to attend FAMILY functions..those functions including their moms' "family" of sisters, brothers, Aunts Uncles, and Cousins by the dozen (LOL). She never really "broke" from her family. We, and I speak for the 4 boys & their families as proof has been made, don't WANT to attend every single "family" get together. FAMILY being their mothers family. There are been comments made and anger that "we" don't rally around and show up at every wedding, funeral, baptizmal, st. patty party, christmas party, just because party. We dont' because we are our own family and that is how I believe is should be. The boys and their families should be FIRST to the parent/grandparents and not 2nd.
Anyway that was a brief, yeah right, over-view. And I am sure someone out there, or many someones..deal with the exact same type of family issues. So you can appreciate my stress.
In regards to Aunt Maryanns death..I am saddened but she had a long 57 years life. Unfortunately she did not take of herself and I am sure that may have attributed to her death at a "young age". But I did not run over to my mother-in-laws house and I know my sister-in-law Tracie and her husband Rich didn't either. I can't speak for Rob and Ed is in Ohio. I know, as I was told, family is important at a time like this, BUT her (my mother-in-laws) family WAS there and continues to be there. I just can't handle it alone let alone if my husband was home. The viewing and funeral will be hard enough.
Well I have to get down and check my "meat" and add the cabbage and carrots!
Let me know your thoughts. I am open!!
I guess I need to kind of clarify "his family. Chris has 3 brothers; Ed (Chris) Rob then Rich. Each brother is married and they, like us, have children. Chris' parents, Pat and Don, are divorced..but they should still be married. Don was an only child and his parents are deceased as are Pats' parents BUT she has SEVERAL brothers and sisters. As the boys grew and got married an had kids they were still expected to attend FAMILY functions..those functions including their moms' "family" of sisters, brothers, Aunts Uncles, and Cousins by the dozen (LOL). She never really "broke" from her family. We, and I speak for the 4 boys & their families as proof has been made, don't WANT to attend every single "family" get together. FAMILY being their mothers family. There are been comments made and anger that "we" don't rally around and show up at every wedding, funeral, baptizmal, st. patty party, christmas party, just because party. We dont' because we are our own family and that is how I believe is should be. The boys and their families should be FIRST to the parent/grandparents and not 2nd.
Anyway that was a brief, yeah right, over-view. And I am sure someone out there, or many someones..deal with the exact same type of family issues. So you can appreciate my stress.
In regards to Aunt Maryanns death..I am saddened but she had a long 57 years life. Unfortunately she did not take of herself and I am sure that may have attributed to her death at a "young age". But I did not run over to my mother-in-laws house and I know my sister-in-law Tracie and her husband Rich didn't either. I can't speak for Rob and Ed is in Ohio. I know, as I was told, family is important at a time like this, BUT her (my mother-in-laws) family WAS there and continues to be there. I just can't handle it alone let alone if my husband was home. The viewing and funeral will be hard enough.
Well I have to get down and check my "meat" and add the cabbage and carrots!
Let me know your thoughts. I am open!!
Friday, March 26, 2010
And the Stress Goes On..Off to the E.R.
Britt dropped in to see her doctor this morning, she has been getting really bad headaches, blurry vision and very tired. So off the ER we went to get a CAT scan. On the drive I joked to her and said "young lady you better not have any foreign object in your brain..I don't have time to deal with that". Inside I was praying over and over let it be nothing let it be nothing. Praise be to God it was not a foreign object in her brain..her brain is looking very good!! She has stress induced high blood pressure thus the headaches. GO FIGURE in this day and age. Teens these days have more stress then we ever did. Not to mention the family situation we are in..her moving out to Oklahoma next week and getting her very own place...and starting a new job then school in the fall! WHEW wears me out just thinking about it. Her very wise Aunt Tracie suggested YOGA..which Britt said she will start. I also think she needs to listen to soothing music on her headphones instead of "todays" music. So next week in Oklahoma our goal is #1 move her in #2 family Easter dinner #3finding a YOGA place...think I'll give her some valium for the drive down and move in day LOL. I am exhausted..and so much to do today yet. Well there is tomorrow!!
A New Sunny Day
Goodmorning Everyone. The sun is out but it is below 40 outside brrr. It's 10am Michigan time and I JUST spoke briefly to Chris...he's busy down there in Oklahoma. My doctor put me on some new pain pills for the pain from my herniated disc and I'm not sure I like them. I feel kind of "off" and I loose my balance easily. He said my body will get used to them..am not a big fan of them.
Okay let's talk being apart. I am SO LUCKY that my husband is ONLY down in Oklahoma and not in the military stationed over-seas. My heart goes out to you ladies (and men) and your family!! We've been blessed that we have been able to go down to see Chris. The owner of the company has paid for me to fly down all but 1 time...I've been down 4 times. The girls have been down 2 times. But it's hard..each and every day. ANYONE wanna buy my home in Livonia Michigan or rent it?? LOL Let me know please.
Being apart can be a good thing..it is true that abscence CAN make the heart grow fonder...however there are days that I ain't so fond of him. You know what I mean. Those days I am tired, Those days the girls are fighting and Those days that I am just sick and tired of handling it all. And unfortunatley with my back issue I can't handle alot and when I do because I just can't sit around, or something has to get done, I pay for it with increased pain.
We purchased a web cam for him and I got one from my mother. Have you ever had web cam sex? Ohhh I know some of you are thinking I can't believe she just said that..but hey we have a great sex life and you gotta do what you gotta do!! We also visit with the web cam...dressed! LOL
Having a really good support group helps...I have friends, a few, a church I attend and family. But NO one in any of these groups can REALLY truly understand how I am feeling. Except Tracie, my sister-in-law. Her husband, Rich (Chris' brother) is a reservist and he has been gone from home for several months at a time and he had to go thru boot camp and training. So she understands. But I want to find MORE of you out there that are going thru what we are. Being apart, with no end in sight, job losses, money issue (who doesn't have them these).....let's connect and support!!
Have a great day and may the Lord support you each and every step you take!!
Donnajayne
Okay let's talk being apart. I am SO LUCKY that my husband is ONLY down in Oklahoma and not in the military stationed over-seas. My heart goes out to you ladies (and men) and your family!! We've been blessed that we have been able to go down to see Chris. The owner of the company has paid for me to fly down all but 1 time...I've been down 4 times. The girls have been down 2 times. But it's hard..each and every day. ANYONE wanna buy my home in Livonia Michigan or rent it?? LOL Let me know please.
Being apart can be a good thing..it is true that abscence CAN make the heart grow fonder...however there are days that I ain't so fond of him. You know what I mean. Those days I am tired, Those days the girls are fighting and Those days that I am just sick and tired of handling it all. And unfortunatley with my back issue I can't handle alot and when I do because I just can't sit around, or something has to get done, I pay for it with increased pain.
We purchased a web cam for him and I got one from my mother. Have you ever had web cam sex? Ohhh I know some of you are thinking I can't believe she just said that..but hey we have a great sex life and you gotta do what you gotta do!! We also visit with the web cam...dressed! LOL
Having a really good support group helps...I have friends, a few, a church I attend and family. But NO one in any of these groups can REALLY truly understand how I am feeling. Except Tracie, my sister-in-law. Her husband, Rich (Chris' brother) is a reservist and he has been gone from home for several months at a time and he had to go thru boot camp and training. So she understands. But I want to find MORE of you out there that are going thru what we are. Being apart, with no end in sight, job losses, money issue (who doesn't have them these).....let's connect and support!!
Have a great day and may the Lord support you each and every step you take!!
Donnajayne
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The Dawn of My Blog
I've been tossing this idea around for a while, well actually 3 months ago I started the "toss". Last year, March 2009, my husband was "let-go" from his job due to "cut-back". Yes we live in Michigan, the state that started seeing this "depression" way before any other state. Also, in March, I was cut-back from full-time to part-time in my job. I was a Brand Merchandiser..I merchandised clothing, handbags and other items for various vendors. But due to the economy even that field was seeing a huge slump..although no one will admit that clothing sales have decreased LOL. Anyway that July I hurt my back at work..and I've not been working since..but that's another story for another day. Let me bring you up to speed...in October Chris(they hubby) was offered a temporary job down in Oklahoma. God has been so good, things have been tight but each time we think we just don't know what to do next along comes something. So on October 28th he packed up the RV and left for Oklahoma what was to be a 2 month job. As of the middle of January it became a full job. We've had the house up for sale for over 2 months and not one showing as of yet. Five years it ago is appraised for $205,000, we currently have it listed for $148,000, and this $20,000 less than what we started at. Anyway...it's tough and I just know deep in my heart there are other families out there like us...I want to connect with you!! I want to be able to share our thoughts and our fears and our joys. No one REALLY understands what I am feeling, or our 2 daughters (Britt 19, Cassie 16) unless they are in our situation. So speak out let's share together!!! I'll try to be back daily to share our daily life, our struggles, our joys and how things are going. TALK to you soon!!!
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